Poetry Corner: Reflections on the Yamal Peninsula

Posted: May 7, 2012 by tallbloke in flames, Incompetence, Legal, media, methodology, Politics

We’ve read about the hockey CRU
And Phil Jones’ neck of brass
Now McIntyre’s grabbed the stick
And shoved it up their

Ask no questions, tell no lies
Will the next job for the CRU
Be dishing up the fries?

Sir Ted has got a tricky job
To cover up the mess
“Tell the CRU to shut their gob
We never will confess!”

“Hide the Yamal data
And cover that decline!
Tell the press the Alma Mater
Will carry on just fine.”

But you should know Sir Edward
With all your old boy clout
That when it comes to science
The truth will always out.

Along the Climate Audit trail
The urban and the rurals
A few at CRU have gone quite pale
Steve’s got ’em by the Urals! 

  1. adolfogiurfa says:

    Me and Mr. Jones, we got a thing going on,
    We both know that it’s wrong
    But it’s much too strong to let it cool down now.
    We meet ev’ry day at the same cafe,
    Six-thirty I know he’ll be there,
    Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
    While the super-computer plays our favorite simulation.
    Me and Mrs., Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones,
    Mr. Jones got a thing going on,
    We both know that it’s wrong,
    But it’s much too strong to let it cool down now.
    We gotta be extra careful that we don’t build our hopes too high
    Cause he’s got her own obligations and so do I,
    Me, me and Mr., Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones,
    Mr. Jones got a thing going on,
    We both know that it’s wrong,
    But it’s much too strong to let it cool down now.
    Well, it’s time for us to be leaving,
    Iit hurts so much, it hurts so much inside,
    Now he’ll go him way and I’ll go mine,
    But tomorrow we’ll meet the same place, the same time.
    Mr. , Mr. Jones , me, Briffa, and my beloved, single and lonely siberian tree

  2. diogenes says:

    be careful Tallbloke…have they finished water-boarding your hard-drives yet?

  3. tallbloke says:

    Lol, no worries diogenes, the hard drives are in sealed evidence bags in my safe.

    I see a famous blogger likes this poem. 🙂

  4. One TreeRing to rule them all, One TreeRing to find them,
    One TreeRing to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

  5. Roger Andrews says:

    Lucy Skywalker:

    Tolkien’s hard to beat, but here goes anyway

    TreeRings in the boxes
    A pocket full of proxies
    A trick
    Hockey stick
    And the graph bends up!

  6. Dan in Nevada says:

    There once was a tree in Nantucket
    Whose rings the CRU gathered to look at
    The story they told was so fine
    But, alas, at the end a decline
    Keith was heard to mutter “Aw, let’s look elsewhere”

  7. Siberian Weird Sisters Song

    Hoxy poxy
    Sproxy proxy
    Docksy clocksy
    Brokesy hockeysticks

    Ask us no questions
    We’ll tell you no lies

    Treering peering
    Data fearing
    FOIA nearing
    Courtly hearing

    Ask us no questions
    We’ll tell you no lies

    Golden fame
    Nobel claim
    Skeptics to blame
    oh shame oh shame

    Ask us no questions
    We’ll tell you no lies

    palmy greasy
    tricky precis
    easy peasy

    Ask us no questions
    We’ll tell you no lies

    Science corrupt
    Data obstruct
    FOIA no luck
    oh dear oh dear

    Ask us no questions
    We’ll tell you no lies

  8. tallbloke says:

    Excellent! Keep ’em coming 🙂

  9. Roger Andrews says:

    All ye who used dendrodchronology
    To construct a corrupt climatology
    You’ve committed a tort
    And really you ought
    Offer science a humble apology

    Mann this is Funn 🙂

  10. Anything is possible says:

    There once was a fellow called Mann,
    who came up with a devious plan,
    but Steve Mac and Ross
    proved his work was all dross
    and that made the [snip] hit the fan

  11. Zeke says:

    Er…horsetooth fossils?

  12. Roger Andrews says:

    As well as Mike Mann
    There’s Walsh and Chapman
    Their Hockey Stick’s almost as nice
    It’s based not on trees
    But on extent of freeze
    Of the dwindling Arctic sea ice

  13. Tenuc says:

    Ode to Catastrophic Mann Made Global Warming
    As I was walking up the stair,
    I met a Mann who wasn’t there.
    He wasn’t there again today.
    I wish that Mann would go away.
    (Adapted from a poem by Hughes Mearns)

    When playing a shell game with the IPCC, always watch for the Mann behind you trying to pick your pocket.

  14. tallbloke says:

    Phil Jones and the gang at the CRU
    Are wondering just what to do
    Their data from trees
    Has been chopped at the knees
    Now they’ve been opened to view

  15. tallbloke says:

    In reply to Roger Andrews:

    The satellites are twirling
    Their PVs re-furling
    As they dance in the lessening drag
    Their sensors degrading
    And errors invading
    Along with old bias’es Red Flag

  16. Wayne Job says:

    Poetry, satire and the humble traveling minstrel were the first and only methods available in ye olde england to spread news and discontent of the failings of the powers that were.

    They did try to control this flow of information but failed miserably, much like our modern hockey team and government apologists, they also have no answer to open minds and the internet.

    I also noted Anthony’s thumbs up to your poetry. I have noted that Willis has been almost absent at WUWT ? Anthony is a gentleman who always tries to do what is reasonable and right.

    Humour and ridicule will be the downfall of the consensus team as science and climate points out their failings and more people start pointing the fickle finger of fate at them.

    Deprogramming all the children in the education system will be the only unfunny part.

  17. tallbloke says:

    Ah yes, the Minstrel in the Gallery. One of my favourite Tull songs. This clip include some interview footage which is very apposite to the discussion. Iain Anderson, the band’s leader, discussing the way Rock became organised, more ‘dressed up and showy’, in order to satisfy the people paying for it, and those gaining from it (including themselves) and the requirements of the ‘big stage’ limelight into which it was catapulted. The humorous, humble and self deprecating attitude this highly talented entertainer displays is something certain ‘Bigshot’ Climatologists and politicians could do to learn from in my opinion. The action starts at 0.28:

  18. Higgledy Piggledy
    Philip D Jonesius
    Tells us of proxies
    That come from Yamal

    Next he’ll be telling us
    Is easier to do
    than a trend in Excel

  19. Roger Andrews says:


    Yes, it’s curious how the blade of the W/C hockey stick coincides with satellite measurements.

    And if you want more things
    The GISS anthrop forcings
    They too show a hockey stick bend
    But if ATE cools it
    These forcings are bool(snip)
    The truth will come out in the end

  20. adolfogiurfa says:

    Some say apocalypse is near,
    apocalypse, ye all know
    it is not the end
    but illumination from above,
    light from beyond, out from the Source itself coming,
    it´s minds´ illumination,
    it´s clear thoughts,
    men, again, the universal truths finding,
    liars and cheaters
    going back to the hell they came from,
    the beacon of truth, shining forth,
    long forgotten secrets´ disclosure,
    long forgotten laws once more by man known,
    our destiny, the purpose of life,
    cycles closing cycles,
    the Eden, anew, for Noble men.

  21. tallbloke says:

    The Hockey Stick Illusion
    Collusion, delusion, confusion
    Starting in the mind
    Moving to the guts
    Feeling for ‘the Cause’
    Becoming Eco-nuts
    Addiction to applause
    No pause to re-assess
    Regression’s chancing guess

    Time to walk on moors
    Inner self confess
    Knowing in the heart
    More or less ignores
    The horse before the cart
    Pulling all our stores
    The stable door behind
    Swings shut upon the mind
    Before the freshened start
    Leaves the past behind

  22. Peter Whale says:

    Baa baa climate sheep
    Have you any wool
    Yes plenty pull it over their eyes.

  23. Mydogsgotnonose says:

    Tree rings, wee things are,
    Important only from afar.
    Mann-made global crap………

  24. philincalifornia says:

    From The Pirates of Pennzance

    Too late, ha ha
    Too late, ho ho
    Ha ha ha ha
    Ho ho ho ho

    Here’s a first-rate opportunity

    To get funding with impunity,

    And indulge in the felicity

    Of unbounded Nobel-icity.

    I shall quickly be Al Glorified,

    Conjugally politicized,

    By the doctors of perfidity,

    Who are located in this vicinity.

    What could go wrong ??

  25. Tim Cullen says:

    The Crazy World of James Hansen

    I am the god of hell fire and I bring you:
    I’ll take you to burn.
    I’ll take you to learn.
    I’ll see you burn!

    You fought hard and you saved and learned
    but all of it’s going to burn.
    And your mind
    your tiny mind
    you know you’ve really been so blind.
    Now’s your time burn your mind.

    You’re falling far too far behind.
    Oh no
    oh no
    oh no
    you gonna burn!

    to destroy all you’ve done.
    to end all you’ve become.

    I’ll feel your burn!
    You’ve been living like a little girl
    in the middle of your little world.
    and your mind
    your tiny mind
    you know you’ve really been so blind.

    Now’s your time burn your mind
    you’re falling far too far behind.

  26. Tim Cullen says:

    tallbloke says: May 8, 2012 at 12:40 pm
    Ah yes, the Minstrel in the Gallery. One of my favourite Tull songs.

    Dedicated to rising sea levels:
    Jethro Tull – Aqualung – Live 1978

    Dedicated to settled scientists:
    Jethro Tull – Skating Away On The Thin Ice – Live 1977

  27. Tim Cullen says:

    Laurel & Hardy – The Trail of the Lonesome Pine

    In the Blue Ridge Mountains of Yamal
    On the trail of the lonesome Pine
    In the pale moonshine our hearts entwine
    Where you carved your name and I carved mine.

    Oh, you – like the mountains are blue
    Like the pine – I am lonesome for you
    In the Blue Ridge Mountains of Yamal
    On the trail of the lonesome Pine.

    On a mountain in Yamal stands a lonesome Pine
    Just below is the little cabin home of a little girl of mine
    Her name is June and very, very soon she”ll belong to me
    For I know she”s waiting there for me ”neath that lone Pine tree.

  28. Nice poetic licence there Tim. Yamal is pretty flat. Perhaps you mean the Polar Urals? Gad, you got me launched…

    A: Treerings. When you’ve seen one you’ve seen Yamal
    B: Actually, Ural different.

    Some are spruced up, some larch around, drunk ones larching and falling down the riverbank, there’s one larching down a dark alleyway waiting to beat the cr*p out of you, what’s not to larch? Pining for some variety. Fir’s fir, I say.

  29. Verity Jones says:

    My effort, with apologies to Counting Crows’ song ‘Mr Jones’

    I was down at the paleo lab staring at my tree ring chronology
    Dr. Jones strikes up a conversation about the govenment and the IPCC
    Proxies dance while he plays with prinicpal components
    The hockey stick’s suddenly beautiful
    We all want it to be beautiful
    I wish my work was so beautiful
    Proxies dance this science down to perfection
    Cut Yamal! Show me some of them Russian dances
    Pass me a bottle, Dr. Jones
    Believe in tree
    Help me believe it says anything
    I want to be someone who believes

    Dr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales
    Stare at the beautiful proxies
    “She’s looking good Mann. She’s ready for the IPCC.”
    Imagining the bright lights
    Of the Nobel Prize in Oslo
    When everybody loves you, you will never be unpublished

    I will paint the picture
    Paint proxies in blue and red and black and gray
    All of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful
    Modern temperatures added in in black color
    It felt so shambolic yesterday
    ’til I thought of the Nature trick
    To give us the right picture today

    Dr. Jones and me look into the future
    Stare at the beautiful proxies
    “She’s looking good Mann
    Sure she’s ready for the IPCC.”
    Standing in the spotlight
    I bought myself a gray suit
    When everybody loves me, I will never be unpublished

    Dr. Jones and me staring at the reconstruction
    When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me
    We all want to be big stars, heroes to world governments and how
    But when everybody loves me, I’m going to be just about as happy as can be
    Dr. Jones and me, we’re gonna be big stars…

    In case you need the original to apreciate it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oqAU5VxFWs

  30. Gunga Din says:

    “Chopping Up Wood on a Snowy Evening”
    By Michael Mann

    What tree this is, I think I know.
    It grew in Yamal some time ago.
    Yamal 06 I’m placing here
    In hopes a hockey stick will grow.

    But McIntyre did think it queer
    No tree, the stick did disappear!
    Desparate measures I did take
    To make the stick reappear.

    There were some corings from a lake,
    And other data I could bake.
    I’ll tweek my model more until
    Another hockey stick I’ll make!

    I changed a line into a hill!
    I can’t say how I was thrilled!
    Then Climategate. I’m feeling ill.
    Then Climategate. I’m feeling ill.