Dellers is on good form in the Telegraph:
The Royal Society – founded 1660; former motto “Nullius In Verba” – this week strapped on a giant pair of waterskis and leapt over an enormous shark swimming in the pond in nearby St James’s Park. The shark, whose name is Ed Davey, is believed to have been lured over from Westminster aquarium to perform bizarre tricks for the amusement and delight of the Royal Society’s membership.
Explained the speed boat’s driver, Sir Paul Nurse, who thought up the idea:
“All that scientific method stuff: it’s so old hat. I mean like, Newton and Wren and Pepys – what kind of name is that, anyway? – they wore these stupid long grey wigs and came up with these complicated theories and did boring experiments, probably, well some of them did and not one of them ever once sold the Socialist Worker or took money from the Rockefeller Foundation either which just shows how right-wing and socially unengaged they were. So what we’re going to do now I’m running the show is ditch the Latin motto, which is so, like, waf waf, Eton crap, and we’re going to cut way back on all that factually-based, empiricist bollocks and just generally make the Royal Society more groovy and relevant to the modern age. Our performance by Ed Davey, the talking shark is just the start of it.”
At his talk yesterday, Mr Davey delighted his specially invited audience by announcing that “Climate change deniers smell not just of wee wee but poo as well,” that they’re “probably responsible for spreading TB rather than those innocent badgers that evil Owen Paterson wants to kill” and that he absolutely refused to accept rumours he’d heard that morning that his junior energy minister John Hayes donned a black cape at night and went round sucking out baby kittens’ brains with a straw. And that “global warming is definitely true, all the experts say so, so there.”
Mr Davey’s talk is the first of many events planned at People’s Soc – as the Royal Society will soon be renamed.
Read the rest here