Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

Easter Aquhorthies recumbent stone circle (genuine) in north-east Scotland [image credit: Wikipedia]


As a local official commented: “These types of monument are notoriously difficult to date.” And fakes can be difficult to spot, it seems.

Archaeologists in Scotland were disappointed to discover a stone circle they believed was centuries old only dates back to the 1990s, reports Newsweek.

Researchers descended on the monument in Leochel-Cushnie, Aberdeenshire, in Scotland, when the current landowner reported the site to authorities.

Archaeologists heralded the site as authentic, adding it to the list of “recumbent stone circles”—a rare type of circle found in the local area.

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We asked you to nominate the wackiest climate stories of the year, says The Global Warming Policy Forum (GWPF).

You didn’t let us down. Before Christmas, we asked GWPF readers to send us nominations for our search to find the tallest climate tale of 2018.

It’s fair to say that there was a lot of competition, with the catastrophe mongers across the media clearly working hard to ensure that they were in the running for this much sought-after accolade.

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Drone or no drone? The question baffling UK police

Posted: December 24, 2018 by oldbrew in humour, News, Travel

Image credit: yournewswire.com


From the ‘you couldn’t make it up’ department.

‘Who’s heading this investigation? Inspector Clouseau?’ Twitter pokes fun at police claims there may not have been a drone flying over Gatwick with hilarious memes.

Flights were suspended for more than 36 hours from Wednesday, causing Christmas travel chaos at Gatwick airport in Crawley, West Sussex, reports the Daily Mail.

But police said the drone may never have existed.

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Take your time, plenty to choose from. Either enter the comp or tell us here on the blog – or both.

An international competition for our readers, friends and supporters, says The GWPF.

We at the Global Warming Policy Forum like to keep a close eye on what the press and the broadcast media have to say about global warming science.

Some of it is, it’s fair to say, pretty far removed from anything a reasonable person would recognise as, well, science.

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Join the fake David Attenborough for a brief sardonic tour of the little-known but fascinating – maybe – world of the skeptic (US)/sceptic (UK).

This parody documentary skewers both the skeptic and the superstitious, and accurately shows what issues skeptics face, says The BigThink.

== A video from QED 2018 has made the rounds on the internet, poking fun at skeptics and the credulous alike.

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In the solar system and the universe too, ‘weird’ may well be another way of saying ‘we haven’t figured it out yet’.

Planet Pailly

When I did my yearlong Mission to the Solar System series back in 2015, the planet Neptune stood out as having the weirdest and wackiest magnetic field.  Here’s a totally legit photograph from 1989 taken by the Voyager 2 space probe.  As you can see, Neptune is really confused about how magnetic fields are supposed to work.

But since 2015, science has learned more about the other three gas giants in our Solar System.  Neptune’s magnetic field is still really weird, but it’s no longer clear that it is the definitive weirdest.

  • Jupiter: Based on data from the Juno mission, it looks like Jupiter has three poles instead of two.  There’s a north pole, right about where you’d expect it to be.  Then the magnetic field lines emanating from the north pole connect to two separate south poles.  The first south pole is about where you’d expect a south pole…

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Credit: planetsave.com


Déjà vu – another amusing outbreak of paranoia from the ranks of overheating climate obsessives who think the weather depends on how much fuel is burnt, or something.

Climate alarmists are alarmed that a new IPCC report to be released on 8 October by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change will reject their apocalyptic rhetoric and disaster predictions, says The GWPF.

They blame IPCC scientists for deliberately downplaying the danger of global warming in order to placate the Trump Administration and some of its fossil fuel allies.

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dr-tim-ball-icTim Ball, head of CLEXIT Canada writes:

 I am proud to be the Canadian representative for the climate exit (CLEXIT) movement. Canada has more culpability than any other nation in creating and perpetuating the deception. It is not hyperbole to say that Canada was central to creating and mobilizing the false claim of anthropogenic global warming (AGW). The idea that humans were causing runaway global warming originated with the Club of Rome. Formed in 1968 by David Rockefeller, it expanded on the Malthusian idea that the population would outgrow the food supply. The expansion was that world population would outgrow all resources. They made three major assumptions.

  • The demand for resources would increase every year because the population is increasing every year.
  • Developed nations increase the demand by using resources at a much greater rate than developing nations.
  • More nations are changing from developing to developed and accelerating demand.

They produced a few books and reports to substantiate the claims about population and demand. Paul Ehrlich’s 1968 The Population Bomb garnered enormous attention. Less well read but still influential was the 1972 book Limits to Growth by Meadows et al. It used a very primitive computer program that started with two components. The known volume of a resource and the current rate of use. Then, using a simple linear trend, it projected the point at which the resource would run out. It also projected the point at which the volume of the resource use peaked. Another book published in 1977, Ecoscience, Population, Resources, and Environment, influenced policy for a long time because of Paul Ehrlich’s co-author John Holdren. He later became Science Advisor in the Obama White House.

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Another outbreak of lies, damned lies…and statistics from the renewables publicity machine gets exposed. This time it’s Belgium in the spotlight.

Trust, yet verify

The previous post focused on the contribution-of-solar-and-wind-to-total-load metric as used by our Flemish Minister of Energy. In short, there was a lot of electricity production by solar and wind on a Saturday afternoon (when electricity consumption is traditionally low) leading to a 45% contribution by those two power sources to total load. This was praised as a “new record”. We can’t control the sun nor the wind and consumption of electricity follows certain patterns, so some pretty high contribution values are bound to happen, making it a rather meaningless metric.

He also used other equally meaningless metrics in te past. At the beginning of the year, he surprised us all with the MWh-per-km2 metric. According to this metric the Belgians are among the best in “Europe” when it comes to solar and wind energy! We are in the top 3 when it comes to production of solar energy…

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UK beer sales restricted amid CO2 shortage

Posted: June 26, 2018 by oldbrew in humour, News
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Bad news for beer-loving football fans in the UK as the World Cup progresses. This is the same gas that climate-obsessed governments want to spend a fortune of our taxes – some from beer – on capturing and burying. You couldn’t make it up.

Food wholesaler Booker is rationing beer and cider because of a shortage of CO2 used in carbonated drinks, reports BBC News.

The Tesco-owned retailer, which is used by bars, restaurants and traders, is capping customers to 10 cases of beer, and five of cider or soft drinks.

It is more evidence that a scarcity of CO2 is hurting the food and drink sectors, and comes after Heineken and Coca-Cola faced disruption.

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earth_ozone_1

James Anderson, of ozone hole fame says:

The chance that there will be any permanent ice left in the Arctic after 2022 is essentially zero.

But that’s not all. Not only is the Arctic ice going to disappear, but WE are too.

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Ex-drone, somewhere in Siberia


Testing in public – a risky business.

Russia wants to use drones to deliver mail in Siberia. If this first test is any indication, their technology isn’t quite there yet, reports Futurism.

Someday, in the future, our skies will be full of whirring machines delivering anything we could ever want or need, from medical supplies to pizzas to the latest item from our Amazon overlords.

That day is not today.

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Astronomer announces he has discovered … Mars

Posted: March 22, 2018 by oldbrew in Astronomy, humour

Mars [image credit: NASA]


As banana skins go, this is a good one. Bad luck, professor!

In an online publication, this astronomer reports the detection of a very bright object in the night sky that wasn’t there before. Turns out, he’s thousands of years late for this discovery, says LiveScience.

Astronomer Peter Dunsby just made a groundbreaking discovery, after noticing a very bright “star” pop up in his field of view at an observatory at the University of Cape Town that was not present two weeks prior.

Too bad Dunsby was perhaps thousands of years late … the bright object was the planet Mars.

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JD has started celebrating already.

EPA officials are “leaving in droves”, reports the New York Times. Marvellous news to ease us into the festive Christmas spirit, eh readers?

Why, it’s like the final scene in A Christmas Carol where Scrooge repents of all his miserliness, his nephew Fred gets a big fat turkey, Bob Cratchit gets a pay rise and Tiny Tim declares “God bless us, every one!”

Not, of course, that this is quite the way the New York Times sees it.

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Volkswagen camper van


Looks like a classic case of ‘don’t do as I do, do as I say’ unless he’s planning a motor museum.

For a man on a mission to ban petrol- and diesel-guzzling cars, French environment Minister Nicolas Hulot is himself strangely fond of combustion engine vehicles – he has no fewer than eight of them, reports the Daily Telegraph.

His green credentials have been sorely tested after his fleet was revealed this weekend when the assets of President Emmanuel Macron’s ministers were published by High Authority for Transparency in Public Office (HATVP).

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Record-breaking winter season for Lapland tourism

Posted: November 22, 2017 by oldbrew in humour, innovation, Travel
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Credit: Visitfinland


This place sounds ideal for an upmarket climate conference. The brand new Glass Resort is ‘situated right next door to Santa’s office at Santa Claus Village’. Just the place from which to send out all those generous climate funds that no country with any sense wants to contribute to.

Snow is more popular than ever, says the Barents Observer. About 600 charter flights are landing at Finland’s three northernmost airports in the months ahead.

New hotels, glass igloos, log-huts, snow constructions and ice cottages. Lapland seems prepared to welcome tens of thousands of tourists starting now in late November. Santa Claus is still an attraction, but newcomer of the year is the Snow Man.

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The Great Cnuts of Climate

Posted: October 29, 2017 by oldbrew in alarmism, climate, Critique, humour, Idiots, Psychobabble
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Another one in the eye for the tedious prophets of man-made climate doom.

MalagaBay

According to the history books Cnut the Great became King of England in 1016 AD.

Cnut the Great (c. 995 – 1035), also known as Canute – whose father was Sweyn Forkbeard (which gave him the patronym Sweynsson, Old Norse: Sveinsson) – was King of Denmark, England and Norway; together often referred to as the North Sea Empire.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnut_the_Great

Cnut the Great is famously remembered for knowing he had no control over the elements.

The story of King Canute and the tide is an apocryphal anecdote illustrating the piety or humility of King Canute the Great, recorded in the 12th century by Henry of Huntingdon.

In the story, Canute demonstrates to his flattering courtiers that he has no control over the elements (the incoming tide), explaining that secular power is vain compared to the supreme power of God.

The episode is frequently alluded to in contexts where the futility of…

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midgetTemperatures refuse to rise, exterminate polar bears, melt the icecaps, engulf coastal cities or make Tim Flannery seem rational. Not that the paleontologist is alone in the upper ranks of ratbaggery. Meet Professor Matthew Liao, who yearns to bio-engineer smaller, drug-ready humans
People unwilling to act on the climate-crisis narrative should be assisted with drugs that improve and promote conformity, according to eminent bio-ethicist Professor Matthew Liao, of New York University, who also wants to see parents dosing their children with hormones and diets to keep them shorter and less of a burden on the planet.

He wants such people to be given  the ‘love drug/cuddle chemical’ oxytocin. This would increase their trust and empathy and make them more ready to change to emission-saving lifestyles.

As his peer-reviewed study puts it, “Pharmacologically induced altruism and empathy could increase the likelihood that we adopt the necessary behavioral and market solutions for curbing climate change.” He emphasises there would be no coercion. The drugs would merely help those who want to be climate-friendly behaviour but lack the willpower

Once sufficiently drugged, parents would be less likely to reject notions of “human engineering” techniques that will be needed to create Humans 2.0. These amended species will be 15cm shorter than now, hence more energy efficient and less resource-demanding. His study,  Human Engineering and Climate Change, is in  Ethics, Policy and the Environment.[1]

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Climate miserablists – look away now.

NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT

By Paul Homewood

h/t Jo Nova

If only Yes Minister had done global warming. Well, it has now, in the new stage version.

It’s hilarious, absolutely to the point, and a must watch.

Yes Prime Minister Global Warming etc Part 1 from Aris Motas on Vimeo.

Yes Prime Minister Global Warming etc Part 2 from Aris Motas on Vimeo.

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