Caption Competition: Cook, Mann and Lewandowsky

Posted: June 10, 2013 by tallbloke in alarmism, humour, Incompetence, Legal

Catastrophic CO2 Warming propagandist John Cook, Hockey Jockey Michael Mann, and trick cyclist Stephan Lewdandworkshy meet at a conference after some co2 spewing airline flights. A Talkshop prize will be awarded to the poster of the best caption submitted by Wednesday night:


  1. tallbloke says:

    Puppeteer Michael Mann rehearses with two marionettes for his new show – ‘Data Dancing’.

  2. Do you recall the time when we failed Stats 101 … and Introduction to Research Ethics?

  3. Greg says:

    And then we said CO2 is the main cause of ‘Climate Change’….according to OUR ‘Models’

  4. Ninderthana says:

    The silly buggers think were real climate scientists!

  5. davesivyerd says:

    rock, paper, scissors!

  6. Disko Troop says:

    Draw no truth, publish no truth, write no truth.

  7. Kevin R. Lohse says:

    “That was some GHG emission from Mikey”

  8. morf says:

    John : God steve, wish Mikey wouldn’t eat so many fish.

    Steve : Yeah, pooowar

  9. Sceptical Sam says:

    OK, then.

    Hammer, rock and paper.

    Best out of three says it’s not CO2.

  10. morf says:

    A cartoonist, a psychologist and a baffoonist walk into a bar…

  11. Sceptical Sam says:

    Or maybe it’s hammer, rock and scissors!

  12. Peter Hartley says:

    Lewandowsky: Let’s make it look like we are conspiring..
    Cook: … and release the picture to stir up the deniers.
    Mann: I can fake data more convincingly than this.

  13. meltemian says:

    Shhhh… Mike hasn’t spotted we’ve nicked his ID card yet!

  14. David Chappell says:

    Pigs flew

  15. Joe Public says:

    In a recent survey, 100% of respondents agreed Global Warming was Mann made.

  16. AB says:

    “Is flatulence really methane?

  17. grumpydenier says:

    Oh, look, Marcott’s just arrived. Now remember not to laugh in his face.

  18. Hasbeen says:

    Don’t look now, but I’ve brought a ladder so we can clime out of this mess we’ve got ourselves into.

  19. GrantB says:

    Phew! There’s no need to laugh about it Mike. That was a shocker!

  20. Chris B says:

    Don’t tell Michael there’s been no warming for 16 years. His doctors say it could bring on an even deeper psychosis.

  21. mrsean2k says:

    “Bet they run a caption competition on this; I’ll get a whole new paper out of it. Kerching!”

  22. nTropywins says:

    see no evil; hear no evil; speak no evil

  23. EternalOptimist says:

    ‘And then he said…ha hahah ahahhaha..he said…..’
    ‘then he said…hahahha….ok well if its peer-reviewed, we’ll publish it’
    ‘hhahahahhhhaaa….ooh me ribs’

  24. Phillip Bratby says:

    Shhh, keep it down, somebody will say it’s a conspiracy.

  25. James says:

    Is that a Nobel gas?

  26. Markington says:

    “Can you believe that the Guardian still thinks we’re the good guys?”
    “Yeah, low carbon, organic champers all round!”

  27. Sweet Old Bob says:

    Psst! Mikeys’ data says his hockey stick is broken!

  28. michael hart says:

    “So I threw the Senate at him…”

  29. Craig M says:

    Cook ‘I still can’t believe the pal review was so easy’
    Lew ‘I told you Mike has made a career out of it’
    Mike ‘oh look a camera. I’m being thrust – against my will – into public figure mode’

  30. Joseph Bastardi says:

    (left:”)We have to continue to get people to cut down on co2 exhalation by not exercising”. (right) “We can offset our carbon footprints with all the jetting around, by growing even larger on this issue” (middle)” I’m all in with you

  31. Shhh! Hide the decline.

  32. Canman says:

    Lew: NASA didn’t fake the moon landings, so Hansen must be right about global warming!

  33. Jeff Alberts says:

    Lew: John, did you just fart?
    Cooked: (fart) No, that would be methane and bad for the planet (fart)
    Mikey: I have tp pee!

  34. atheok says:

    Three giggling mice.
    Three giggling mice.
    See how they fudge, see how they fib,
    they forgot where they left the Gleick vermin,
    did you ever see such fraudulent mice in your life,
    as three giggling mice?

    In tribute to Queen Mary I.

  35. DaveO says:

    Cook- “Psst, hey Lew, I didn’t really post your survey on my blog”
    Lew- “I know, I just made up the data anyway”
    Mikey- “I just hide data in a censored directory and I won a Nobel Prize”

  36. mpcraig says:

    Where are the Mann hands?

  37. leon0112 says:

    A tree, a cartoonist and a survey walk into a bar…and CO2’s your uncle.

  38. hunter says:

    “Guys, they are still paying us for this stuff!”

  39. Keith says:

    Paper rock hockey stick

  40. Zeke says:

    Look boys, another pigeon!

  41. J Martin says:

    Cook and Lewandowsky practising the teams new membership hand signals, a variant of the boy scouts salute, in front of their hallowed leader who seems pleased at his team members achievement.

  42. John Cook and Stephan Lewandowsky compete to see who can exhale the most CO2, as Michael Mann acts as referee

  43. Graeme says:

    The Three Stooges in Climate Mayhem!

  44. Graham Green says:

    Cook and Lewandowski fall for Mikey’s ‘Pull My Finger’ gag.

  45. Wendy says:

    Left to right: Tin man, cowardly lion and the scarecrow
    Tin man: I don’t have a heart
    Scarecrow: that’s ok, I don’t have a brain
    Cowardly lion: I’ve got you all beat…..I run from my own lawsuits!

  46. Graham Jeffs says:

    Two Desperate scientists pray to almighty Buddha for enlightenment.

  47. Jack says:

    Wait until people find out that we’re Obama Scandal #5

  48. DaveA says:

    See no science, hear no science, speak no science.

  49. Steve R in UK says:

    See only evil, Hear only evil, Speak only evil….

  50. Geoff Derrick (Brisbane) says:

    “Heh heh – maybe three villages have lost their idiots. . .”

  51. oldbrew says:

    MM: Look…I can work two sock puppets at once!

  52. tchannon says:

    Lawyers fee 😐 Lawyers fee

  53. Arnost says:

    And then we just used Mike’s Nature Trick and got our 97%!

  54. Arnost says:

    And then Mike said he just turned the data upside down …. and… and … nobody noticed!

  55. bwdave says:

    Relax! We’re not paying for it.

  56. Arnost says:

    And then Mikey goes: “Hey we can use treemometers to measure temps to within a MilliKelvin from 4000 years ago…” and … and they gave him a grant to do it!

  57. mikeworst says:

    Hey Lew, Mikey looks upset?

    Yea, his lawyer advised him not to sue reception just because the denier bitch asked him who he was.

  58. Isn’t gossip so much more fun than facts?

  59. J Martin says:

    Mann Cooks up a Lewd joke.

  60. tallbloke says:

    J Martin: good, very good. 🙂

  61. tchannon says:

    Indeed Rog

  62. atheok says:

    I think we’re all bozos on this CAGW bus!

    paraphrased from ‘Firesign Theater’

  63. tallbloke says:

    Yup, we have a winner. J Martin takes it with his late entry. Pithy, sharp and funny. Well done JM!

    Let me know what you’d like. We might be able to get a mug made with the three mugs and your winning caption on it.

  64. tchannon says:

    That’s difficult photo. Well done j martin.

  65. atheok says:

    Congratulations J Martin! I tend to groan at most puns, but your excellent six word play on three names is a pun to be treasured. A well deserved win!

  66. J Martin says:

    Roger, Tim, Sounds like a good suggestion, though it would be a rather shocking sight each morning, particularly since I live in hope that Mann may one day face some sort of official or peer group censure. Perhaps a standard Talkshop mug (assuming there is one) might be less inclined to induce an early morning heart attack.

    Alternatively, dare I suggest, that Tim might extend that interesting graph to 2100 to be found on
    I know some people will mutter about wiggling elephants and so forth and I appreciate that sooner or later all models fail but I find it intriguing nonetheless. Alternatively anything will do !

  67. tchannon says:

    Mugs game.

    I’ve had a look for maybe the third time. Can’t find the file. (half million on this disk partition, 7G is just part of the data for this stuff, elsewhere goes back pre-web and there is paper)

    Probably it came from a work in progress which included heavy software development so as it stands a few keystrokes and a new version will appear but is different. I know I was also working on the much longer dataset which is probably the more important.

    Rog wanted stuff that I do recall. I doubt I put the work in on checking to see if there was a degree of predictability, done using data withholding. Solar related won’t be because it is known crazy, if we knew the magic it wouldn’t be of interest.

    Entertainment purposes only.
    Is matching what I think is the right dataset, 1610 to 2000

    No chance. The software was free to choose and decided on a pair of long periods to make the basic shape. In reality this is how amplitude variation appears. The dataset is ambiguous, whereas the longer 10BE based is less so.
    Matching the ~11y is pointless.

  68. J Martin says:

    Tim, Rog, Thankyou for such a wonderful and unusual prize. Awesome. And even more intriguing. I realise now that there is one drawback to this and that is that if I am to live long enough to see if that graph is still on track as it bottoms out, I will have to find a way to live long enough to be nearly 200 years old. Tricky.

    I figure your graph will remain on track certainly over the medium term as cooling seems inevitable unless the sun decides otherwise. I wonder if any of the frequencies tie in or are close too any solar system stuff.

    Anyway thank you again guys for being such good hosts. And I do appreciate the point about being for entertainment purposes only. Mind you, its all too possible that it will prove to be much nearer than mark than prophesies of catastrophic global warming. Thanks again.

  69. tchannon says:

    Solar output will have a central tendency so a reduction is highly likely. From what we know of history there will either be a reduction followed by another burst of high activity over 100 years or whatever, or less likely a period of unusually low activity.

    That’s no help.

  70. Tallbloke supporter says:

    Caption from a future news story:

    “A picture of the conspirators from the days when they believed they were above the law.”

  71. Dermot O'Logical says:

    We are…. the consenseless.