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Catastrophic CO2 Warming propagandist John Cook, Hockey Jockey Michael Mann, and trick cyclist Stephan Lewdandworkshy meet at a conference after some co2 spewing airline flights. A Talkshop prize will be awarded to the poster of the best caption submitted by Wednesday night:
Tallbloke's Talkshop
Puppeteer Michael Mann rehearses with two marionettes for his new show – ‘Data Dancing’.
Do you recall the time when we failed Stats 101 … and Introduction to Research Ethics?
And then we said CO2 is the main cause of ‘Climate Change’….according to OUR ‘Models’
The silly buggers think were real climate scientists!
rock, paper, scissors!
Draw no truth, publish no truth, write no truth.
“That was some GHG emission from Mikey”
John : God steve, wish Mikey wouldn’t eat so many fish.
Steve : Yeah, pooowar
OK, then.
Hammer, rock and paper.
Best out of three says it’s not CO2.
A cartoonist, a psychologist and a baffoonist walk into a bar…
Or maybe it’s hammer, rock and scissors!
Lewandowsky: Let’s make it look like we are conspiring..
Cook: … and release the picture to stir up the deniers.
Mann: I can fake data more convincingly than this.
Shhhh… Mike hasn’t spotted we’ve nicked his ID card yet!
Pigs flew
In a recent survey, 100% of respondents agreed Global Warming was Mann made.
“Is flatulence really methane?
http://www.bishop-hill.net/blog/2013/6/9/mad-men-the-prequel-josh-226.html
Oh, look, Marcott’s just arrived. Now remember not to laugh in his face.
Don’t look now, but I’ve brought a ladder so we can clime out of this mess we’ve got ourselves into.
Phew! There’s no need to laugh about it Mike. That was a shocker!
Don’t tell Michael there’s been no warming for 16 years. His doctors say it could bring on an even deeper psychosis.
“Bet they run a caption competition on this; I’ll get a whole new paper out of it. Kerching!”
see no evil; hear no evil; speak no evil
Cook-
‘And then he said…ha hahah ahahhaha..he said…..’
‘then he said…hahahha….ok well if its peer-reviewed, we’ll publish it’
‘hhahahahhhhaaa….ooh me ribs’
Shhh, keep it down, somebody will say it’s a conspiracy.
Is that a Nobel gas?
“Can you believe that the Guardian still thinks we’re the good guys?”
“Yeah, low carbon, organic champers all round!”
Psst! Mikeys’ data says his hockey stick is broken!
“So I threw the Senate at him…”
http://tinyurl.com/down-and-out-at-the-AGU
Cook ‘I still can’t believe the pal review was so easy’
Lew ‘I told you Mike has made a career out of it’
Mike ‘oh look a camera. I’m being thrust – against my will – into public figure mode’
(left:”)We have to continue to get people to cut down on co2 exhalation by not exercising”. (right) “We can offset our carbon footprints with all the jetting around, by growing even larger on this issue” (middle)” I’m all in with you
Shhh! Hide the decline.
Lew: NASA didn’t fake the moon landings, so Hansen must be right about global warming!
Lew: John, did you just fart?
Cooked: (fart) No, that would be methane and bad for the planet (fart)
Mikey: I have tp pee!
Three giggling mice.
Three giggling mice.
See how they fudge, see how they fib,
they forgot where they left the Gleick vermin,
did you ever see such fraudulent mice in your life,
as three giggling mice?
In tribute to Queen Mary I.
Cook- “Psst, hey Lew, I didn’t really post your survey on my blog”
Lew- “I know, I just made up the data anyway”
Mikey- “I just hide data in a censored directory and I won a Nobel Prize”
Where are the Mann hands?
A tree, a cartoonist and a survey walk into a bar…and CO2’s your uncle.
“Guys, they are still paying us for this stuff!”
Paper rock hockey stick
Look boys, another pigeon!
Cook and Lewandowsky practising the teams new membership hand signals, a variant of the boy scouts salute, in front of their hallowed leader who seems pleased at his team members achievement.
John Cook and Stephan Lewandowsky compete to see who can exhale the most CO2, as Michael Mann acts as referee
The Three Stooges in Climate Mayhem!
Cook and Lewandowski fall for Mikey’s ‘Pull My Finger’ gag.
Left to right: Tin man, cowardly lion and the scarecrow
Tin man: I don’t have a heart
Scarecrow: that’s ok, I don’t have a brain
Cowardly lion: I’ve got you all beat…..I run from my own lawsuits!
Two Desperate scientists pray to almighty Buddha for enlightenment.
Wait until people find out that we’re Obama Scandal #5
See no science, hear no science, speak no science.
See only evil, Hear only evil, Speak only evil….
“Heh heh – maybe three villages have lost their idiots. . .”
MM: Look…I can work two sock puppets at once!
Lawyers fee 😐 Lawyers fee
And then we just used Mike’s Nature Trick and got our 97%!
And then Mike said he just turned the data upside down …. and… and … nobody noticed!
Relax! We’re not paying for it.
And then Mikey goes: “Hey we can use treemometers to measure temps to within a MilliKelvin from 4000 years ago…” and … and they gave him a grant to do it!
Hey Lew, Mikey looks upset?
Yea, his lawyer advised him not to sue reception just because the denier bitch asked him who he was.
Isn’t gossip so much more fun than facts?
Mann Cooks up a Lewd joke.
J Martin: good, very good. 🙂
Indeed Rog
I think we’re all bozos on this CAGW bus!
paraphrased from ‘Firesign Theater’
Yup, we have a winner. J Martin takes it with his late entry. Pithy, sharp and funny. Well done JM!
Let me know what you’d like. We might be able to get a mug made with the three mugs and your winning caption on it.
That’s difficult photo. Well done j martin.
Congratulations J Martin! I tend to groan at most puns, but your excellent six word play on three names is a pun to be treasured. A well deserved win!
Roger, Tim, Sounds like a good suggestion, though it would be a rather shocking sight each morning, particularly since I live in hope that Mann may one day face some sort of official or peer group censure. Perhaps a standard Talkshop mug (assuming there is one) might be less inclined to induce an early morning heart attack.
Alternatively, dare I suggest, that Tim might extend that interesting graph https://tallbloke.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/tsi-lean2k.jpg to 2100 to be found on https://tallbloke.wordpress.com/2011/02/21/tallbloke-and-tim-channon-a-cycles-analysis-approach-to-predicting-solar-activity/
I know some people will mutter about wiggling elephants and so forth and I appreciate that sooner or later all models fail but I find it intriguing nonetheless. Alternatively anything will do !
Mugs game.
I’ve had a look for maybe the third time. Can’t find the file. (half million on this disk partition, 7G is just part of the data for this stuff, elsewhere goes back pre-web and there is paper)
Probably it came from a work in progress which included heavy software development so as it stands a few keystrokes and a new version will appear but is different. I know I was also working on the much longer dataset which is probably the more important.
Rog wanted stuff that I do recall. I doubt I put the work in on checking to see if there was a degree of predictability, done using data withholding. Solar related won’t be because it is known crazy, if we knew the magic it wouldn’t be of interest.
Entertainment purposes only.
Is matching what I think is the right dataset, 1610 to 2000
No chance. The software was free to choose and decided on a pair of long periods to make the basic shape. In reality this is how amplitude variation appears. The dataset is ambiguous, whereas the longer 10BE based is less so.
Matching the ~11y is pointless.
Tim, Rog, Thankyou for such a wonderful and unusual prize. Awesome. And even more intriguing. I realise now that there is one drawback to this and that is that if I am to live long enough to see if that graph is still on track as it bottoms out, I will have to find a way to live long enough to be nearly 200 years old. Tricky.
I figure your graph will remain on track certainly over the medium term as cooling seems inevitable unless the sun decides otherwise. I wonder if any of the frequencies tie in or are close too any solar system stuff.
Anyway thank you again guys for being such good hosts. And I do appreciate the point about being for entertainment purposes only. Mind you, its all too possible that it will prove to be much nearer than mark than prophesies of catastrophic global warming. Thanks again.
Solar output will have a central tendency so a reduction is highly likely. From what we know of history there will either be a reduction followed by another burst of high activity over 100 years or whatever, or less likely a period of unusually low activity.
That’s no help.
Caption from a future news story:
“A picture of the conspirators from the days when they believed they were above the law.”
We are…. the consenseless.